The Choice to Take a (Really) Long Pause
If you take a workshop with me, one thing you will notice is that I am not afraid of a long, and I mean very long, pause. Let me explain. When I was in school and a teacher would say, “Does anyone else want to share/ask a question/make an observation?” I almost always...
Closing the Performance Gap
Jon Cunha, a mental health counselor and former track and field coach, observed a pattern he came to call the performance gap. In practice, his athletes were motivated, coachable, and relaxed. In competition, they disappeared into their own heads. Distracted and...
Bravery Begins with Attention
Bravery does not begin with boldness. It begins with attention. Preparing to act with courage, Seekers benefit from seeing what is actually happening inside themselves and in the room around them. They can pause between stimulus and response, observe fear without...
The Gift of Paying Attention
“Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It's all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.” ― Susan Sontag Curiosity...
Be Curious: Asking the Question Beneath the Question
Mark Chamberlain is a wealth management principal who has spent decades sitting across from people at their most financially anxious. He has learned something that applies far beyond finance: the reason someone gives for needing help is almost never the real...
Curiosity as the Pause Button
Curiosity is the Courage Pathway that recalibrates. When a Seeker has gone off-course, frozen by fear, stuck in an old story, or certain that the obstacle ahead is impassable, the Curiosity Pathway opens up a new way forward. It does not eliminate the fear. It...
Self-Compassion Reflected Back and Forth
My mom died from complications of leukemia in the fall of 2025. During the previous few years, we’d spent a lot of time together while my step-dad and I supported her through treatment and a stem cell transplant. As we went through those years, my relationship with...
Self-Compassion isn’t the Opposite of Courage — it’s the Enabler
As a coach, I’m trained to listen for binary thinking; choices that are framed as either or. One binary belief that gets in people’s way is the myth that you must choose between courage or self-compassion. From the work of Kristin Neff, self-compassion doesn’t mean...
The Three Dimensions of Courageous Compassion
Compassion is learnable. Seekers can intentionally increase their capacity to stay present with the pain of others and respond well. As a courage pathway, compassion helps Seekers act bravely because it makes the drive to support themselves and others stronger than...
Gathering Evidence as a Road to Confidence
One of the best teachers I’ve ever had about the intersection of courage and confidence is my child, Avery. Back when she was in kindergarten, we had a series of conversations about what it means to be brave that shaped how we’ve talked about bravery and...