Your heart is pounding. “Why did I agree to this? I’m not ready. I’m going to bomb.” You step on stage, stuck in your head, just trying to get through it.

[Rewind. Let’s try this a different way.]

Your heart is pounding. You notice it—and thank it. “Of course, I’m anxious. My body is preparing itself to learn. This matters to me.” You close your eyes, take a deep breath, imagine all the leaders in the audience you want to connect with today. You step on stage grounded, open, and ready to grow.

Same moment. Different belief system. Completely different experience.

The beliefs driving the first example: When I feel confident in public speaking, then I will be brave enough to launch my career. If I receive negative feedback along the way, it means I’m not ready yet.

The beliefs driving the second example: The process of creating a world class keynote means, at times, my body will be awash in anxiety and fear. When (not if) I receive critical feedback, I will stay curious and collect data on who my ideal audience is and how my message is best communicated to them.

Want to increase your confidence and willingness to do hard things? Normalize fear, growth, and failure. This kind of confidence doesn’t rely upon your mastery. Believing you can experience and recover from failure increases your likelihood of choosing to be brave.

Want to do something brave that you’ve never done before? Ask yourself these questions to increase your confidence:

• Where do you want to be more courageous?
• What are you telling yourself about this task or your own capacity?
• What will you say to yourself the moment fear inevitably shows up?
• What is one low-risk way you can practice in the next 7-days?
• How realistic are your expectations?