Courage Keepers empower Seekers by validating their fears, providing strategies to overcome them, and demonstrating that regularly stepping outside your comfort zone to connect with others can substantially enhance your bravery, creating a positive feedback loop: the more you connect, the more courageous you grow. This equips Seekers with the skills to navigate conflict and disagreement more effectively, establish clear boundaries, and express their opinions honestly.

As I spent time working on my new book, Courage Keepers, at a local college library, I went to Starbucks to pick up one of their famous or infamous refresher drinks – chock-full of caffeine and sugar, with a tartness that pleased my taste buds and just the right combination to energize me.  Although it was very early in the morning, the three baristas, in unison, greeted me with genuine smiles and “good mornings” as I walked in.  I thought, “What a great start to the day.”  With my mood elevated from my brief encounter with the Starbucks baristas, I decided to pay it forward when I returned to campus. I walked past many students, some of whom made eye contact, while others kept their heads down, walking with purpose to their next class.  I acknowledged several students who made eye contactand said hello.  I was struck by the fact that it can be a real challenge for some people to connect with others for various reasons.  They may be afraid to connect because of how others will perceive them or because of the fear of rejection.

Small Talk, Big Impact

Ironically, I was working on the “connections” chapter while researching the work of psychologists Gillian Sandstrom and Elizabeth Dunn on how minimal social interactions can lead to feelings of belongingness and happiness.  Instead of my interaction with the coffee shop Baristas, they conducted a study of 60 participants they recruited outside an urban Starbucks.  Participants were randomly assigned to engage in a social interaction with the cashier, including smiling, maintaining eye contact, and having a brief conversation. In contrast, others were assigned to the “efficient” condition, in which they entered the store and spent minimal time on the transaction and had little or no personal interaction.  The study found that social interaction with the barista increased the participants’ feeling of belonging. Sandstrom and Dunn state that there may be reluctance to engage in an authentic social interaction with a stranger. They reported being happier when they treated a stranger as if they already had a connection with them.  That is what I felt from my interactions with the three baristas. 

This is an excerpt from Courage Keepers: A Guide to Brave Leadership and Inspiring Bold Action in Others – Launching September 2026.